


taverns and friends

by vannral



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Banter, Dialogue Heavy, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9860768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vannral/pseuds/vannral
Summary: Leliana is interested in Alistair's love life. Alistair isn't pleased and Cullen just wants to be somewhere else.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is so stupid. So stupid and my attempt to practise dialogue and comedy and banter, and ugh. I'M SO SORRY. (i have too many feelings about Alistair and Leliana and DA: O)

     “So, Alistair…”

Alistair’s spoon stops in half-way and he squints suspiciously at Leliana. “What? I don’t like the way your face makes…that look”, he says slowly.

Leliana’s lips curl into a sharp, knowing _smirk. “_ I hear you have a rather notorious paramour.”

Cullen chokes in his drink. He coughs, eyes wide and looks at Alistair, who is very much scowling at Leliana.

     “You know, could we pretend for a moment I have absolutely _no_ idea what you are talking about?”  

“Oh? You don’t know?” she asks sweetly, leaning against her palm. “Isn’t that interesting.”

     “ _Really,_ skip the pretending part and let’s just say that _really_ I have _no_ idea what you are talking about.”

Leliana tilts her head. “You mean you _don’t_ know how our beloved Warden is doing at the moment?”

Alistair’s cheeks flush bright pink, and the creases on his forehead deepen.

     “Besides being amazing at everything she does, _no,_ I really don’t have any idea how she is doing and where she is doing whatever…she’s doing. Could you stop _staring_ at me like that?”

Leliana’s smile gets frozen, a little bit, on the edges. “Oh”, she says, looking a little surprised. “You _do_ mean that.”

    “Of course I do! Why would I lie? To _you,_ of all people?” Alistair asks, now getting annoyed. “Besides when did you start caring who I fancied? It’s…a little creepy.”

     “I care about you, so of course I care about your happiness, silly.”

     “Oh, right. But it’s _not_ Cousland, _seriously.”_

     “Hmm. Well, then…”

     “ _No.”_

     “I didn’t say anything.”

     “Don’t give me that, I know that look. It’s that sneaky, I’m-gonna-shiv-you-in-the-face-while-smiling face. It’s the one you used at me at the camp, when I made hare stew.”

Cullen snorts in his pint, rolling his eyes in fond amusement.

Leliana’s smile is slow, like dripping honey. “I’m not going to shiv anyone, don’t be silly”, she says lightly and examines her nails in a way that seems to make Alistair very nervous. “But if it’s not Cousland, then it’s…someone else, I suppose?”

Alistair clears his throat and turns his own mug uncomfortably. “And, uh – why would you think that?”

     “I like to see my friends happy.”

     “I’m happy without you looking at me like that!”

     “Who is your lucky…person?”

Alistair chokes, his face brilliantly red, and then, very shyly, he glances beside him; Cullen meets his gaze in the half-way, raises his eyebrows at him – Cullen receives a very subtle nod as a silent response, and _oh, everything makes sense._

Cullen grabs the back of Alistair’s neck and kisses him. It’s not a soft kiss, but it’s familiar, _comforting_ with practised ease – Alistair _melts_ against Cullen, angles his head just right like they’ve done it _a thousand times._

A giggle escapes Alistair’s mouth against Cullen’s lips, and it’s so oddly _sweet_ and endearing. There’s no newness, no awkward stiffness, just _them,_ playful and open with each other.

     “Oh, couldn’t hold it”, Alistair beams at Cullen, pinching very tenderly his cheek. “Very daring, Commander, I like it.”

Cullen grins back, but _then_ he remembers where they are – and clears his throat.

     “Why didn’t you say, Commander?” Leliana asks, her eyes twinkling.

     “Am I your dirty secret?” Alistair joins in, but he’s almost _giddy_ with what’s happened.

     “No, you are not”, Cullen murmurs, rolling his eyes, but his hand squeezes one last time the nape of Alistair’s neck before letting go, but his eyes have gone soft and golden, impossibly warm in all affection.

     “Ooh, that’s too bad. That would’ve been kinda exciting, right? A secret tryst in the shadows, all secretive and brilliant, right, and now we can’t have that.”

     “Don’t count it out just yet”, Cullen drawls.

     “My, Commander, the _scandal_ ”, Leliana remarks amused, and Cullen’s jaw clicks shut.

     “See, there’s no Cousland”, Alistair points out cheerfully and shoves food into his mouth. “Seriously, _no_ Cousland, like, _ever._ We were trying to kill the Archdemon, _remember,_ I know you do, you were _there,_ you talked about visions, I was half-dead with anxiety and crippling fear of dying, Sandal freaked everybody out at least _once,_ and Cousland caused like five heart attacks a day for everyone _–_  also, just saying, she is way more interested in chasing dragons than in romance, so also _no_.”   

     “Oh, you’re right”, Leliana sighs and slumps slightly. “How foolish of me, to forget such an important detail about her.”

     “Well, it’s been pretty _long_ time. So many dragons _.”_

     “Have you had any news about her?”

     “No…but didn’t she send you a letter?”

     “To the Inquisitor, yes.”

     “Like you didn’t _read_ it.”

     “…”  Silence. Then: “…She sent her a pretty belt.”

     “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.” 

     “Of course not. It was from the Anderfels, however.”

     “Ooh. You’re _really_ good at this. Tracking, I mean.”

     “Why, thank you, Alistair”, Leliana says primly and takes a delicate sip of wine. Then, her smile widens an inch, becomes knowing and unashamedly _smug._  

Alistair squints at her again, instantly suspicious. “You know, I may be wrong, but I’m getting the feeling you’re playing me. You know, again.”

    “Why, Alistair, still doubting me?”

     “After the hare-stew, always.”

     “It was _not_ hare, whatever it was that you found.”

     “I swear to Maker, it _was!_ Ears and all! I mean, sure, it looked…kind of…run over, but never mind that, it _was_ hare.”

     “What about you, Commander? Have you been subjected to Alistair’s cooking skills?” Leliana asks, and Cullen looks like he very much would like to be uninvolved with the conversation.  

     “He cooked well enough in our training days”, he says diplomatically, and Leliana lifts an eyebrow.  

     “Oh? I do hope it was not hare.”

     “ _Leliana!_ For the love of – can we stop with the hare already?”

     “No, the food had very good cheese in it, and it was more than _fine”,_ Cullen says, and Alistair turns to flash a wide, pleased grin at him.

     “Aww, Cullen, you’re making me blush!”

     “Well, it was good.”  

     “Hmmh.”

     “Leliana, _no.”_

     “What? I’m not saying anything.”

     “We have unleashed a beast, haven’t we?” Cullen muses wryly as he shoves another spoonful into his mouth, looking both tender and completely done with the whole mess of a conversation.

     “Probably”, Alistair mutters and eyes Leliana like he’s expecting her to sprout fangs. “Okay, just a thought, can you – _maybe –_ just stop?”

But as it is, Leliana has no intention to do such a thing, not when she’s got such juicy news on her hands.

     “So, how did you meet?” she asks, excited and grinning.

     “ _Maker’s grace,_ okay - Cullen, please save me, I’m dying – “  

The Commander sighs. “Leliana, please”, he sounds resigned, weary.

     “Hmph.”

     “Thank you.”

     “Yeah, _thanks,_ not that this is any of your business, and you’re mean, and that’s so _creepy.”_

     “I love you, too, Alistair.”

A reluctant pause. Then, sulkily: “…fine. I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> HNNNG, jesus christ. I have so many feelings about Leliana and Alistair being friends and I love Alistair so much, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.


End file.
